artist’s statement
When thinking of writing a statement about my art, I couldn’t help but feel a bit awkward trying to describe the genesis of what I create; talking about creating art is more difficult than doing it. I think inspiration for imagination comes from each aspect of personal experiences. I’ve always had influences, like the Symbolists, Surrealism, Fantastic Realism, and the Expressionist, anything that has an otherworldly vision to it has inspired me, but I have never really fit into a particular category. Since I can remember I have been attracted to the shadow side of art and always related to the suffering expressed in art.
Subject matter in my art consists of people interacting with beasts or transforming into other beings. Sometimes the people are twisted with emotion or lost in a desperate landscape, tormented by inner demons. To me when I say demon I think of the metaphor that is symbolic for fear of the unknown or for something we have no control over. From my experiences, when we come face to face with our fears they don’t seem as horrible as we have imagined them to be. If the Angel of Death is descending upon me it seems terrifying, but once it reaches me it could be bliss. So these demons, either emotional or physical, can also be seen as sublime. Visions are a form of energy, a manifestation of something that can become a reality, these fears and visions are not tangible, but can affect a person as if they were real, and they can also affect others if the believer acts upon them. I can see why many people are turned off by art that is filled with disturbing images. It’s like if they stare at the image too long, it might rub off on them and they might become infected with darkness and insanity. Through my art I try to move through this darkness and find transcendence. I don’t want to dwell in my own fears but instead want to face them and hopefully exorcise demons that I couldn’t come to terms with in any other way.
My connection with nature and the elements has been a strong influence on my use of organic subjects in my art. Growing up in Seattle I was blessed with two rugged mountain ranges, lakes, rivers and plenty of rain. With the most beautiful coastline and rainforests I’ve have ever seen. Nature has had a profound affect on my life and art, and when I’m away from it I yearn for the green and the gray. I think nature’s influence shows itself in the roots of my work, connecting everything together organically in some way or another. Many times in nature I have used entheogens for exploring inner worlds. I experimented with entheogens first when I was in my mid teens, using them to questioning everything around me and trying to understand where I fit into this world. I was always trying to push myself further than I thought I could go, pushing my body and my mind. From these experiences I opened up to ideas that up to that point in my life I had never thought or heard of. It was an “awakening”. But it wasn’t all blissful meditation. I had some really intensely negative trips, most coming upon more recreational use of plants or drugs and I had forgotten to respect their power. But I follow my breaking out of normally acceptable subject matter in art being directly related to entheogens. These experiences have become a major influence on some of my more fantastic visions in my work. Dreams have also had an important influence on my creative process. I’ve never tried to adapt a whole dream, but I have incorporated many different aspects of my dreams as ideas for my work. Dreams as a direct door to our subconscious can give rise to many surreal images and I try to take advantage of them as often as possible. I have many good dreams, but usually the more uncomfortable the dream the more interesting the subject and the more of a challenge it is to actualize visually. For me, I’m not concerned with interpreting dreams. I’m driven by the mystery in them, the mystery that is in not knowing.
Western society has been going through a period in the traditional arts that is filling us with both the safe and mediocre. At the same time we are being bombarded with disturbing images via digital information and the media. It is an interesting time to be involved in any type of visual medium. How and who controls information in society is ultimately what affects imagination. The lines between art and advertising have been blurred to the point of absurdity. I think the “society of the spectacle” has resulted in a collective amnesia, we have forgotten about myth or history other than what we are sold. Humans have always lived by their myths, myth as a way to connect us to nature and to history and culture. Right now the western world seems to be an aberration cut off from ritual, nature and consumed by materialism, and many people I know are in open rebellion of some kind or another against an inhumane, dehumanizing and banal form of life that “progress” has created. Whether that’s through art, music, writing or activism, people are waking up from a manipulated delusional life. The social and psychological implications of such an existence have influenced my art. I try to work through what I don’t understand in society. If I didn’t have catharsis I probably would have exploded with an ugly rage, instead of a beautiful rage.
At the genesis of a blank sheet of paper, canvas or board, I approach each piece uniquely. Sometimes I jump right into a painting without previous sketches. Other times I work out a basic composition using photographs I’ve taken of models and scenery. I also use found images from magazines as an influence for subjects. I have a large collection of image references for getting ideas. I usually have a general idea of the subject matter that I pull from. I’ve always been blessed with a creative imagination and have never found myself lacking in subject matter. My main problem has been slowing down the stream of images that flow through my conscious mind enough to decide on which images to use for what piece. It’s interesting about these streams of images; I think they go back to the beginning of human consciousness, to our essence. A myth or archetype that makes up who and what we are, each stream of moving images comes from within us and is collective but remains very individual to our personal experiences.
I very rarely start a piece knowing where it will go. I start with a “focusless focus”, gradually pulling out what I see. I love to use spontaneity and chaos in my art, finding images within images, or evolving the subject matter and composition as I work on it. I very rarely know what a piece means when I’m creating it, even if I’ve pre-destined the basic theme. I usually don’t understand any of it until much later. I see many pieces as visual diaries of where I was at, both physically and psychologically at the time. Some of my work I’ve yet to understand and I don’t really want to. I think every artist knows they have an audience at some point. In knowing that, they want to make sure the image works in one way or another, whether it’s by conveying an actual message or just a feeling. Yet I don’t feel I must answer people’s questions about what my art means. Inevitably each image is going to invoke or provoke an individual response or interpretation, which is the beauty of creativity, music and art in general.
At times I’ve found myself in a tumultuous state, completely emotionally distraught by what I’m working on. Other times I’ve worked for hours in a kind of “altered state”, loosing all concepts of time and understanding as to how I accomplished my work, like finding a creative bliss. When I am in these states, purging honest emotions without concern for moral taboos is when I feel I can express myself best in my purest form. This is my spirituality in my art, just me using my whole being, my will to expurgate my imagination. I would like to think that at some point my art could mean as much to someone as others work has meant to me, something which will inspire one to look inward, to take risks in their life, and to share whom they really are with others. I believe that imagination is the key to personal freedom and something integral to the essence of being human.
|
